Dream a Little Dream of Me

I have... weird dreams. I don't know why my brain twists things into such intricate and terrifying stories while I'm asleep, but boy does it ever. I have always written down the really crazy ones, and last semester my creative writing teacher encouraged me to write down all of my dreams because it's a whole other life that I've led.

Last night I had a dream that was entertainingly convoluted (Extreme Master Chef/monter dance concert/trying to protect the castle/HUGE house/Randilee ate all of my snacks/new phone complete with DVD drive) and involved a lot of people I know, so I thought I'd post it on ye olde bloge. Please excuse the confused tenses and poor writing. This is brainword vomit from 9 this morning while I was still half asleep.

There was this huge brick room with high walls, long moonfilled windows, and doors all around. In the center of a room was a round platform on which sat The Judges of the Extreme Master Chef competition. A chef stood before the judges and inspected a pound of butter held out on a platter by a man in a butler uniform. The chef had been given a moose-deer thing to butcher, and the pound of butter was the only other ingredient he was allowed to use in his dish. He was really excited about it, but I was not. He was tossed into a little corral on the far side of the platform with his moose and another chef who seems to think he's going to get eaten. He said we should all run away and never come back. We didn't.

When all of the chefs had their ingredients, the judges opened the door that led to the sound stage. There were studio audience seats lining one wall and kitchen stations lining the other. After the battle the chefs were sent back to the first room, and that's when things got crazy. The sous chefs started complaining about the show because they did most of the work but received none of the glory. The producers found out and had the sous chefs hunted down. We (I don't know why I was there. I wasn't a sous chef. I think I entered the dream as me just after the Master Chef thing) ran into the next sound stage, which was separated only by a curtain. We tried to hide behind a platform that bat-ish monster creature human things were dancing on. They were enacting a story about a man who was eaten and they were really mad at us for screwing it up. They all little evil red eyes and they wanted to eat us for our impertinence.

Somehow we all ended up at a crumbling stone castle in something akin to the Fellowship of the Ring. We were running toward the heart of the castle, trying to protect it from a band of swarthy miscreants (for some reason, this included Levi Brown in his Mexican wrestling mask). We hefted falling stones in their way and they hefted them right back out. We were losing the battle.

Eventually the castle was actually a huge house, and all of the people there were family members and friends dressed in Sunday best. We were hanging out in the playground in the back yard when I found a crazy phone with several arms for different functions- a Swiss army phone. I didn't know whose it was, but my family and friends convinced me to pick it up. I thought that it must be my phone, but I didn't want it. I had a really bad feeling about it. As urged by my friends, I called the last number on the recent calls list. Ryan and Kelsey answered and told me that that was my phone and that I was to bring it with me when I reported to the Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas mission. I was very disappointed because I did not want to go.

Then somebody told me to come quickly and to brace myself for a terrible, terrible sight. Inside one of the rooms in the house, Randilee had eaten ALL of my snacks. I was so mad! She had devoured an entire bag of veggie chips and a bunch of other delicious things that I had planned on eating! I was also still upset about having to go on a mission, so I cleaned up the room rather angrily. Then I think the dancer vampire bat monster things showed up.

So there you have it. If I didn't mention you by name, you were still in there somewhere. It's an amalgamation of everything I've done this week and everyone I've seen with the classic screwed-up-brain twist that keeps me on my toes.

Be amazed.

And feel free to interpret.

~~~

Dreamt 6/26-6/27

Recorded 6/27

Ugly Days

I was home alone this evening and since I can't plop myself down in front of the TV like I usually do, I plopped myself down in front of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I was feeling lonely, you see, and I thought that watching a movie about somebody else who is lonely would make me feel better. I forgot that Tula actually finds a man pretty early on and they get married. The movie didn't really help me to not be lonely.

I am trying really hard to convince myself that I'm worth it, that somebody is going to fall head over heels in love with me and won't be able to sleep for thinking about me. It's really hard to imagine, as I sit here with my greasy hair and an unwashed face in smelly clothes while foaming at the mouth with Crest Whitening Rinse, that anybody will ever find me attractive, much less attractive enough to spend the rest of eternity with.

But even on these ugly days when I can't see past my jiggling thighs, I am trying to discover things about myself that are lovable. I am not the prettiest, the smartest, the skinniest, or the most spiritual person around, but I love life even when it's a montage of empty Lean Cuisine boxes and late night Project Runway marathons. I'm willing to give myself time and to figure all this out.

I don't know whether I'm worth marrying, but I know I'm worth that much.

~~~

Recorded 6/23/11

Happy, Happy Birthday

What a good day. I woke up around 8 (that's really early, even thought I went to bed before midnight last night- I was exhausted), started the first day of the Summer Sit Up Challenge (Randilee and I are starting at 30 sit ups every morning. As soon as we can, we'll increase to 35, then 40, on up until school starts in August), at some breakfast (Cap'n Crunch), then went to Niccole's to work on the cake and play with the babies (parentheses party! I couldn't let this sentence be left out).Kelsey has quite the little attitude. Niccole had her all dressed and ready to go shopping for supplies by the time i arrived around 9:30, but she still needed to get her shoes on. We made a big production of looking for her princess sandals so she would be excited to wear them, but after all of that work she decided she'd rather wear her boots. They're pink faux suede uggs that zip up on the inside. They do not go with pink plaid shorts and a shiny Hello Kitty t-shirt, not to mention it's June and nobody needs to wear boots anymore. Niccole was exasperated. I thought it was adorable. If I were more prone to doodling, I would draw her with braided pigtails, that rainbow shiny shirt, those tiny shorts, and the huge pink boots. So cute!

While Niccole and I we

re decorating the cake, Kelsey was stacking the dye bottles on top of each other.

"I'm making a sand castle!"

Then she would knock them over and go "rescue" the ones that had fallen to the floor. She kept yelling at me.

"AAAAUBREEEEY! Hey AAAUUBBREEEEYY! AUBREY! HEY!"

"Yes, Kelsey?"

"Is this blue?"

"No, that's green."

"You're right! It's green!"

"Yup. That's green."

A moment of quiet babble.

"AAAAAAUUBREEEEY!"

And that's how it went for 40 minutes.

Before I left, I helped clean up a bit (that was the payment for the cake). Also, I cuddled with Kelsey until she fell asleep. I love holding sleeping babies. There is something exquisitely bitter-sweet about it.

I brought Randilee down here so she and BJ could see the show again. They went to Shoots and brought me some left overs.

Then.

After the show.

It was time for the cast birthday party.

It was so much FUN! First we opened the pinata in a rather imaginative way; since the Sacketts don't have a place to string up something to whack, we placed the pinata in the middle of the floor next to the bat and a pair of fuzzy gloves. We rolled dice for doubles. When doubles were achieved (?), the roller donned the fuzzy gloves and took one good whack at the pinata. Once everyone got the hang of it, it was a roaring good time.

Next, we did the white elephant gift exchange, Warner Style. We used a shortened, modified version of The Cat in the Hat, which David and Cameron read. Again, once everyone got the hand of the take each others' presents thing and the time wore down, it was a blast.

We quickly sang at the birthday cake, sans candles, so everyone who had to leave early could do so without feeling guilty about cutting into the cake. Then we had Sackett ice cream. I think I've been sworn to secrecy? I'm not sure, but it was hysterically funny. Word of advice: Do NOT get between Eric and his ice cream.

And then things kind of wound down. Most people had to leave. Those who stayed played Pounce. Me knees took a beating. It was just me, Scott, Shelly, Melissa, and Randilee by the time we decided to play Wario Ware Smooth Moves. That is my favorite party game of all time.

And then it was really late, so we all went home.

Mark this day- let it be known that on June 3rd, 2011, Aubrey Warner threw her first ever successful party.

Mmmm.

What a good day.

:)

~~~

Recorded 6/3/11