I have... weird dreams. I don't know why my brain twists things into such intricate and terrifying stories while I'm asleep, but boy does it ever. I have always written down the really crazy ones, and last semester my creative writing teacher encouraged me to write down all of my dreams because it's a whole other life that I've led.
Last night I had a dream that was entertainingly convoluted (Extreme Master Chef/monter dance concert/trying to protect the castle/HUGE house/Randilee ate all of my snacks/new phone complete with DVD drive) and involved a lot of people I know, so I thought I'd post it on ye olde bloge. Please excuse the confused tenses and poor writing. This is brainword vomit from 9 this morning while I was still half asleep.
There was this huge brick room with high walls, long moonfilled windows, and doors all around. In the center of a room was a round platform on which sat The Judges of the Extreme Master Chef competition. A chef stood before the judges and inspected a pound of butter held out on a platter by a man in a butler uniform. The chef had been given a moose-deer thing to butcher, and the pound of butter was the only other ingredient he was allowed to use in his dish. He was really excited about it, but I was not. He was tossed into a little corral on the far side of the platform with his moose and another chef who seems to think he's going to get eaten. He said we should all run away and never come back. We didn't.
When all of the chefs had their ingredients, the judges opened the door that led to the sound stage. There were studio audience seats lining one wall and kitchen stations lining the other. After the battle the chefs were sent back to the first room, and that's when things got crazy. The sous chefs started complaining about the show because they did most of the work but received none of the glory. The producers found out and had the sous chefs hunted down. We (I don't know why I was there. I wasn't a sous chef. I think I entered the dream as me just after the Master Chef thing) ran into the next sound stage, which was separated only by a curtain. We tried to hide behind a platform that bat-ish monster creature human things were dancing on. They were enacting a story about a man who was eaten and they were really mad at us for screwing it up. They all little evil red eyes and they wanted to eat us for our impertinence.
Somehow we all ended up at a crumbling stone castle in something akin to the Fellowship of the Ring. We were running toward the heart of the castle, trying to protect it from a band of swarthy miscreants (for some reason, this included Levi Brown in his Mexican wrestling mask). We hefted falling stones in their way and they hefted them right back out. We were losing the battle.
Eventually the castle was actually a huge house, and all of the people there were family members and friends dressed in Sunday best. We were hanging out in the playground in the back yard when I found a crazy phone with several arms for different functions- a Swiss army phone. I didn't know whose it was, but my family and friends convinced me to pick it up. I thought that it must be my phone, but I didn't want it. I had a really bad feeling about it. As urged by my friends, I called the last number on the recent calls list. Ryan and Kelsey answered and told me that that was my phone and that I was to bring it with me when I reported to the Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas mission. I was very disappointed because I did not want to go.
Then somebody told me to come quickly and to brace myself for a terrible, terrible sight. Inside one of the rooms in the house, Randilee had eaten ALL of my snacks. I was so mad! She had devoured an entire bag of veggie chips and a bunch of other delicious things that I had planned on eating! I was also still upset about having to go on a mission, so I cleaned up the room rather angrily. Then I think the dancer vampire bat monster things showed up.
So there you have it. If I didn't mention you by name, you were still in there somewhere. It's an amalgamation of everything I've done this week and everyone I've seen with the classic screwed-up-brain twist that keeps me on my toes.
And feel free to interpret.