Wednesday, March 23, 2011


I am not in class right now. I should be. I should be in Movement for the Actor by John Grahm. I should be stretching and viewpointing and creating shapes and contributing to the energy of the class. But I'm not. I couldn't make myself go, even after John told me I'm not going to fail.

I have a paper due in Philosophy. I couldn't write it when I sat down to it last night. I probably won't go to that class today, either.

I thought I had come so far. I felt better about school this semester. I took easy classes, ones that are exciting and fun and about things that I love. I haven't had more than two panic attacks a month since January. So why is it too much all of the sudden?

I am not yet strong enough to do this on my own. And I feel so alone. I feel so overwhelmed and helpless and so very alone.

I don't know what to do.

1 comment:

  1. Life sucks sometimes. I have been having trouble with panic lately as well. Be happy that you were able to get up and out of bed. Sometimes its the babysteps that count. Let me know if there is anything I can do or if you just want to talk.